Lives of Meaning

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about what it is that makes our lives meaningful or special. I've come to the conclusion that the meaning flows from whatever definition we give life.

What do you think makes our lives meaningful?

And I think Sarah McLachlan says it so perfectly. Here's the lyrics to Ordinary Miracle and a video to listen. May it bless you as much as it has me.



It’s not that usual when everything is beautiful
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sky knows when its time to snow
You don’t need to teach a seed to grow
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say
Wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way
To give some of your own

Isn’t it remarkable?
Like every time a raindrop falls
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Birds in winter have their fling
And always make it home by spring
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up everyday
Please don’t throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart
Cause we are all a part
Of the ordinary miracle

Ordinary miracle
Do you want to see a miracle?

Its seems so exceptional
Things just work out after all
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

The sun comes up and shines so bright
It disappears again at night
It’s just another ordinary miracle today

It’s just another ordinary miracle today

Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

The Difference Between KW & RP

Recently I was asked about the difference between the two branches of my work in the performing arts- Kaizen Works and Reinholdt Productions. Great question!

Reinholdt Productions is a Canadian production partnership with my husband, John, that is contracted to direct, write, and partner in performing arts projects. Through sharing actual experiences, John and I aim to inspire other performing artists in the actual DOING of their art. In other words, we tell of actual adventures in our business planning, developing, and producing works. In turn, we hope to teach others.

Kaizen Works is a coaching community that focuses on the person, the character, living and being first. I enter into a relationship with performing artists in which we take a look at beliefs, habits, personal understanding and awareness. If necessary, we tweek so that the artist can BE who they were created to BE. It is in this BEING that we find that the actual DOING of the art flows naturally.


Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Simple Leadership

I've been fascinated for a long while by the leadership styles and work of those whose approach to leadership is simple and yet powerful. I'm thinking of people like Jesus of Nazareth, Mother Teresa, Ghandi.

What do you learn from these individuals?


Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Giving Thanks

Why is it that gratitude or giving thanks changes how you feel / what your perspective is?

I challenge you to try it even in the hardest circumstances and see if it doesn't surprise you!

Let me know how it goes by email or by comment below. And I will tell you my story :).


Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Thoughts on Creativity by Sir Ken Robinson

I love this video! What are your thoughts on creativity and education from it? Enjoy!



Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

What??! Did I Just Miss a Moment?

Ho, ho! This is the second time I've been asked to consider whether or not I am "living in the moment" (and whenever something comes up repeatedly, I figure that it is important that I listen!).

So what does this phrase mean exactly? Do I have any hints whatsoever? I think I do from two sources....

Any guesses from you as to what this phrase means?

Here's an article about it...

Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Trust

I have a confession to make! I've realized lately that I don't trust easily. And I want to get better at it. Can you relate?

Here's an article about it.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Are You Choosing a Message of Gloom or Vavoom?

Have you seen the show on A&E called "Intervention"? It's true stories about people who are addicted to alcohol or drugs and their response to their family and friends when they gift them with an opportunity to get well. I've watched 2 of them now and this second one about Trent really hit home. (I highly recommend watching the episode if you get a chance. They are online.)

Trent is a man in his late 30's who is addicted to drugs and is continually making decisions to do drugs rather than to see the value in his life who was also in a terrible auto accident. (This is where I was drawn in. The car looked like mine does BTW.)

Unfortunately, he chose to see the accident as doom and to think that his life was basically over. His attitude toward his accident reminded me of a conversation with a counselor that I had in which I was asked what message I was taking from my own accident. I said that I was hearing a reminder to be focused and to lead a simpler life by being focused. In addition, I felt that the accident was a confirmation that trusting in God rather than my own strength is best. This is definitely a different response from Trent's.

I tell this story because it so clearly describes what I am talking about when I say "creating the life you want". It illustrates that we all make choices that create our lives.

How are you looking at your life? How you see your life will impact your legacy. The good news is that we all have the ability to see the richness and to choose to live it!

Thoughts?

For more on this story and my thoughts, check out my article published on Ezine Articles.

Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org
articles at http://www.ezinearticles.com

What??? Depression a Choice?

"Wow. I never thought of it that way before. You have a choice?"

Lately in my conversations, I have noticed that people are very interested in how I am describing parts of my life. For e.g. that I CHOSE depression a few years ago after an organization I was involved with handled a change of staffing in a poor way or that I CHOSE not to think first about suing the driver that caused my accident and injuries but to think about him and his needs.

People are so surprised that these kinds of things are just choices. Don't we just go through them? Aren't they just something that happens?

What do you think?


Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

The DISC Profile Solves My Puzzle

What in the world is going on with this friend of mine? Why did she respond the way she did to my accident?

I've been asking and praying about these questions for the last couple of weeks. Then a few days ago, I came across the DISC profile system again and it helped me re-gain perspective and understanding. I realized that she was helping me in a great way even though it was not in a way that I might set out to help someone. Maybe it will help you too.

Can you think of anyone in your life who may have surprised you with their actions? Could the DISC profiling help you to understand and appreciate them better?

Check out my article on Ezine Articles for more on this tool.


Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Have you tapped into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Our Lives Speak

Last night in talking with a friend of mine, I realized that my life DOES speak. What does the idea of your life speaking mean to you?

To me it means whatever my choices, they speak. Whatever my attitudes, they speak. Whatever comes out of my experiences speaks and most of the time it speaks very loudly. My friend thinks that the way that I want to pray for and take care of the young man that was in the accident (the one who caused it) is amazing. She started to cry when I told her that because she so wanted to hit him, to make him pay for what he did to me.

She could not believe that I, the one whose life has been changed, am talking about his needs and his life and his need for help. (Obviously, his choice to drink and drive speaks something about his life and his attitude.)

Don't get me wrong, I want to be sure that I am wise and have legal protection. But I am so glad that my first thought is not the hurt or get back at this person in any way. To me, if that was my first thought, that would mean that my heart is angry and full of hate.

I realize that corporations and individuals in our world have been moving quickly to legal action against another party.

But what if it was different? What if the first thing we did was give the other party/ person who we know is hurt or is in need a "hug" instead? What if we showed compassion first and then we arranged protection for our own selves? How would that affect the world around us?

Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Tap into your richness!
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Leaning on Others

Have you ever had to rely on others for your life? I did 2 weeks ago (the reason I have not written recently).

I survived a 2 vehicle car crash and surgery. The people that came to the scene were incredible - calming me, phoning my husband, holding my hand, asking me questions to keep me alert...Then at the hospital, nurses and doctors kept informing me of what was going to happen before it happened (including just before they cut off my clothes to be sure I was not hurt seriously and before they inserted a cathider). I had to trust them to move me from a bed to the examination tables and back again. I had to trust them to reset my broken ankle after putting me asleep.

Once in a room, I had to learn to call people when I needed help getting up or moving around in my bed. And a day or so later, I had to trust a physiotherapist's advice to lean on a walker for support when walking or moving in and out of a shower.

Going to my mother in law's to put my foot up for 2 weeks and to begin to heal emotionally too, I learned a great deal about our community - that there are a tremendous amount of supportive services for people who have been in accidents. The police, victim services, personal home care and mental health associations have been amazing.

But I think that the reason they have been amazing is because I have made a choice to let them help me. I need the support as do my family and friends. This has been tough and has brought many changes into our lives. By leaning on others who partner with people in need, my life is deeply enriched in a way that I never expected.

Thank you to all the paramedics, nurses, doctors, therapists, friends, neighbors, and family who are a part of my recovery. Thank you for allowing me to lean on you. You have encouraged my heart.

Keep Partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
Are you tapping into your richness?
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Write It Down or It's Not Plain!

I hope you never do this. Let me know if you can relate...

I was thinking today of myself as a young artist who was looking for gigs.

Some friends of a friend heard that I might be available to direct their production and they called me. I was so excited! If this worked out, this would be my first full show since college!

They came from a small town/ farm country like I did and so when we met, I felt at home with them. They were cool and seemed like they wanted a quality show like I did.

They mentioned to me what they expected and what the budget and pay would be. I shared what I was hoping for and they seemed to be good with it all. We even set dates for auditions and began to prep for the show. It was all good.

It wasn't until we were in the process of rehearsing that things began to break apart. You see, the producers nor I had anything written down. Just some scratched notes on pieces of paper.

Sure, I knew better. I had learned all about writing it down and creating clear expectations in college. But I had also come from a background where the strength of a "gentleman's handshake" was sufficient and you trusted everyone. Why write it down?

I found out why pretty fast. In the process of rehearsing the show, when I required help or was inquiring about something for design, there was many times when there was surprise and hesitancy about providing it. Sometimes, what was done was not what I asked for. It slowed the down the process because we needed to repeat conversations and redo. Ug!

We got through the production ok and it turned out to be a good show. The team and I were tired and in some ways stressed but grateful and excited for the result. We even got some really good press coverage. So that was wonderful!

Unfortunately, the financial payment for the work I did never happened. And this was all because we did not write anything down. It was their word against mine. It sucked but it was true.

I will never forget this. Now, I always write it down and ask whoever I am working with to do the same. It becomes a contract between us.

If you want to know more about how I do this, please email me at wanda@kaizenworks.org


Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese.
http://www.kaizenworks.org

Choosing Power

Some of you may have noticed that I changed my signature on my email. It now includes a quote from George Bernard Shaw and it says, "Imagination is the beginning of creation. You imagine what you desire, you will what you imagine and at last you create what you will. "

I have been doing lots of thinking about creating and imagining and how that manifests in our lives. When I came upon this quote by Shaw, I realized that it spoke of the Law of Attraction and I just had to have it on my email. It fits perfectly with my thoughts right now.

The Law of Attraction is a scientifically proven law that can be stated this way: (from Michael Losier's book, "Law of Attraction") "Whatever you give your time and energy and focus to, it is that which you will have in your life."

Interesting that I have been thinking about the law and I find a quote about it, eh? (The Law of Attraction right at work!) The other very intriguing part of it is that I found a quote on this from a world renowned playwright. How exciting to find that an artist who thought some of the same things I have been thinking!

When I realized that someone with a love for theatre and the arts just like myself was speaking about this law, I wanted to dig a little farther into his life. I've read some of the plays that Shaw wrote such as "Arms and the Man" and "Pygmalion" and I have seen them on the stage. But I did not realize how much of a positive social impact this man had on society.

Perhaps Shaw's greatest accomplishment was the "finding of the Fabian Society, a socialist political organization dedicated to transforming Britain into a socialist state, not by revolution but by systematic progressive legislation, bolstered by persuasion and mass education. The Fabian society would later be instrumental in founding the London School of Economics and the Labour Party. Shaw lectured for the Fabian Society, and wrote pamphlets on the progressive arts, including The Perfect Wagnerite, an interpretation of Richard Wagner's Ring cycle, and The Quintessence of Ibsenism, based on a series of lectures about the progressive Norwegian playwright, Henrik Ibsen." - taken from the University of Pennsylvania English Department.

According to Wikepedia, "His main thrust in the Society was that social class worked to serve its own ends, and that those in the upper echelons had won the struggle. He believed the working class had failed to promote its interests effectively, which made him highly critical of the democratic system of his time. Shaw's writing, as evinced in plays like Major Barbara and Pygmalion, has class struggle as an underlying theme. Notwithstanding that, Shaw was not a Marxist in the traditional sense, and abhorred the aggressiveness of Trade Unionism."

Although I think Shaw was extreme and a little harsh at times in his evaluations and beliefs, I really have fallen in love with this man of the late 1800's. He truly believed and promoted this idea of creating what you focus on. The working class had created their own situation, he said. They had made their own lives what they were. He believed in man taking responsibility for their actions and situations and not blaming others through such actions as strikes and lawsuits. He believed in honest and open relationship and peaceful persuasive discussions. For it is by peace that peace is created in lives.

That brings us back to the Law of Attraction. I would say that when you concentrate on something, it grows. And that is what excites me about living and doing the work of encouraging and creating partnerships that are highly effective and powerful! If you focus on the positive, highly effective and powerful stuff of partnering, your partnerships will grow.

On the other side of the coin, if you focus on words and phrases of ingratitude, for example, the results over time can be devastating.

Wouldn't you rather accumulate the stuff of power?


Keep partnering!

Wanda

Kaizen means "continually growing" in Japanese
Who are you growing?
Kaizen Works

The True Meaning of Being Free

I had a disappointment recently. I applied for a number of internship positions and did not hear back from any of them. This was hard for me. I began to wonder what this could mean and created many scenerios in my mind. Of course, I became quite emotionally attached to one or two of them, and formed opinions and conversations based on my experience.

One of the conversations was with a friend with whom I confide. After I shared with him my results, he said that although he did not know the exact meaning, that he thought that perhaps there could be 1 of 3 possibilities:
1. It could mean that I should not look any further into this.
2. It could mean that it would be good for me to continue to learn and grow as it is not quite time yet for an internship.
3. It could mean that if a persist and continue to apply that eventually I will get in.

I went into my coaching session the next day with the idea that there could not be any other explanation. I had concluded that I needed to decide and act upon one of the 3 possibilities, that is until my coach shared with me a remarkable idea and thought....

"What if it meant nothing?" she asked me.

I was taken aback. How could it not mean anything? After all, I was disappointed and frustrated by what had happened. That means something, doesn't it? The lack of response is a sign that I should quit, isn't it?

Her response was that it only meant something if I wanted it to.

At that point, I realized that it was meaning something because I believed it meant something. No one else was putting that same meaning on it.

(I have been learning the fine art of using fear to create a positive action plan rather than fighting it or avoiding it. And it has become an exercise that is changing the way I do business and live out my life and career. This was unexpectedly turning out to be an additional lesson in living above the fear!)

It's taken me a few days to grasp what she was saying. However, I have come to realize that she is right. The possibility of it not meaning anything is actually the most healthy and the best possibility. It can and does not mean anything unless I want it to. And to further this thought, if I decide it means something and settle on that meaning, I automatically choose to have that same kind of experience in the future. Like attracts like - the Law of Attraction.

Humans are the highest created entity on earth. As a human, you and I have the ability to think ideas and to create meaning. We make conscious and sub-conscious choices constantly. We are spiritual, intellectual, and physical at the same time. This is what makes us different from any other living thing on earth. We have considerable power at our fingertips.

What this means is that when we have an experience like I did with my applications, we have an opportunity to CHOOSE to think of it in a certain way. Our choices are broad - from "I hate them for denying me the courtesy!" to "It's ok if they don't want to respond. I will apply to others who do." and all the choices inbetween.

What's key for us to remember is that our choices impact our emotions and it is the emotional charge on the experience, as Bob Proctor indicates in his Born Rich series, that attracts to us either a similar or different experience in the future.

So, if I were to decide, although I thoroughly believe in my heart of hearts that I am to persue this kind of work because it is a passion of mine, that this experience meant that it was over for me, I would probably begin to feel really terrible and sad about the experience. Eventually, I might even become angry about it. This emotion would then continue to bring about the same results over and over until I made a change.

In other words, by making a CHOICE to feel nothing instead about the experience and to continue to submit applications in other places, I am choosing to not place meaning on the situation. It just is. It happened and that is all. Nothing more. What freedom!

But we want to place meaning on things, don't we? We sure do! I know I do and I know that most people in my life do. And why is that? Because we want to be secure and we want to have control. We define ourselves by the meaning we place on things in our life- from our family and environment to our work and the responses we get. If we claim to know what a situation means, we look as if we have things in hand.

But do we really have control? How many possible explanations could there be? Take my situation with my applications, for example. There could be tons of reasons why I have not heard back. What would be the benefit of taking the time and energy to spend time on some or all these reasons to decipher or conclude which one of them is true? A crazy making notion for sure, especially when comparing it to remaining confident and secure in who I am in the midst of all that is happening around me.

I think this is the true meaning of being free! When who I am and what I believe is firmly established and not effected by what happens around me, then I am truly free.

And I don't know about you, but this sounds like a much better life than worrying about the why's and the how's!

Stay tuned for more on this subject. I invite you to join me in living out this approach to life.


Keep partnering!

Wanda
www.kaizenworks.org

Aaak! Delegation Mud!

THAT’S BEEN ON MY LIST FOR FAR TOO LONG! I’M STUCK! I HAVE SOMEONE WORKING WITH ME BUT I’M NOT GETTING MORE DONE THAN I WAS BEFORE! SOMEONE WANTS TO WORK WITH ME BUT I DON’T HAVE TIME! I’M OVERWHELMED!

If you are in any of these predicaments, I am so happy for you! That means you are growing and that your business is too.

So, smart ass (that’s me :) ), what can someone do if they are in any of these situations?

Great question!

All too often the idea of having people working alongside us as partners (whether a Virtual Assistant, Artistic Staff, Business Partner, Receptionist, Executive Assistant, Technical Assistant) is nothing more than a grand and exciting idea or intention. When it comes to actually doing the creating of the partnership, we fight obstacles and often allow them to slow down our momentum. Here are some more examples:

• I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START
• I’VE ALWAYS DONE IT MYSELF
• I KNOW HOW TO DO IT BEST
• IT TAKES TIME TO TEACH THEM AND I DON’T HAVE IT.
• I’M TIRED ENOUGH AS IT IS AND YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?
• I DON’T THINK I CAN KEEP THEM BUSY
• WILL THEY REALLY LIKE WORKING WITH ME?

If any of these statements describes your attitude, I want to encourage you that there is definitely something you can do to move past this in your partnerships. The only question is do you want to stay where you are or do you want a shining life giving relationship with your partner??? It’s your call.

In this one short article, we are not going to be able to address in detail these limiting thoughts. But, let’s take a look at each of them briefly to get you started on a more productive and nurturing path:

• THAT’S BEEN ON MY LIST FOR FAR TOO LONG! - Sometimes our priorities change. Is this item no longer a priority for you?

• I’M STUCK! - What is stopping you? Can you talk to someone about it? This usually helps to bring forward what is truly happening.

• I HAVE SOMEONE WORKING WITH ME BUT I’M NOT GETTING MORE DONE THAN I WAS BEFORE! - When this occurs, it is usually because we are not giving over the things we would rather not do and holding onto them for ourselves. What do you love? Focus on that and give the rest away.

• I’M OVERWHELMED! - I love the saying in Coaching, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.” The same is true for delegating. Take a small item and start.

• I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE TO START - Is there one little task that you could possibly delegate to this person that you have not been able to accomplish?

• I’VE ALWAYS DONE IT MYSELF - True. You probably have. But is it something you LOVE to do? Wouldn’t you much rather delegate the things you don’t love as much to someone who enjoys supporting you?

• I KNOW HOW TO DO IT BEST - Do you? Well, maybe so. But would there not be value in getting someone else’s input? Maybe their ideas will refresh the process.

• IT TAKES TIME TO TEACH THEM AND I DON’T HAVE IT. - Who runs your time - your work or you? I hope it is you. What item of work could you choose to put aside right now to make room for planning and handing over this one item?

• I’M TIRED ENOUGH AS IT IS AND YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT? - It’s true. Many of us are tired. I’ve experienced how truly rejuvenating it is to see myself give over something to someone else. Maybe it will build you up to the point where you want to do more???

• I DON’T THINK I CAN KEEP THEM BUSY - If you are in a place where you don’t have a lot of work yet, that’s ok. Start gradually with a small package of hours or a small agreement.

• WILL THEY REALLY LIKE WORKING WITH ME? - That is up to you. How can you make it fun? How can you ensure communicate regularly?

Are you interested in knowing more about how to move these kinds of blocks in your partnerships? Would it help to talk with someone else about what you have been experiencing?

If you are interested in looking at this further, Kaizen Works is looking at the possibility of hosting and leading a teleseminar on this subject.


If you would like to have the information on this seminar sent to you, please fill out and submit this short form on the webpage below. It will assist us to prepare to have a conversation around this topic.

Please note that you will receive a verification email which you must respond to in order to hear back from us.

To sign up, go to: www.resources.kaizenworks.org/partnerseminar.html

Be sure to tell your friends about this all important discussion!

Keep partnering!

Wanda
www.kaizenworks.org

“Can I Really Know if Someone I Met..."

“...Through Networking
Is Perfect for a Partnership?”

Recently, some of the conversations I have been having around this question have confirmed that partnerships are indeed what YOU make them. In particular, I have come across an approach to creating partnerships that I believe holds the key to success in business or personal relationships.

The basic premise of this view is that partnerships will most likely fail unless a thorough and legal written agreement is created by the partners and a lawyer. The document must contain specifics and tangibles such as the responsibilities of each partner, business breakdown and exit strategy – all the terms agreed upon by the partners. In addition, it is essential to have partnership insurance so that if a partner dies, it is clear how their shares will be handled as well as what the involvement of their estate or heirs will be.

While I agree that it is essential that partners are both satisfied and secure, I also know that like attracts like.

The partnering experience of someone who holds this view is rarely positive. Unfortunately, the usual story of broken partnerships is that the relationship ended because of a disagreement or misunderstanding. In addition to this disappointment and frustration, many hours are spent in court rooms battling for a resolution. And unexpected legal fees have usually been incurred. These fees can, in some situations, change the course of a person’s career or financial future.

So it is easy to see how failed relationships can seed fear in hearts. This fear usually leads to an overwhelming emphasis on security concerns. And before long, all partnerships are assumed to be something to be protected from rather than embraced and celebrated. In other words, safety becomes the priority rather than relationship.

Most of us would rather live lives that are free of fear and this kind of strife. So how can we avoid creating fear-dominated partnerships? Is it even possible?

I believe it is. And the reason is that I believe we have a CHOICE as to how we respond to the things that happen in our lives. Although often very difficult, it is possible to choose to act out of love, rather than out of fear.

Knowing that this is possible, here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Focus on what you want rather than on what can go wrong. If you do this, you are more likely reach what you desire because you will be clearly aware of your goals. (It is not wise to enter into any partnership until you are personally clear on what kinds of people characteristics, skill level, and attitude you are looking for. This is the best way to ensure that you keep your integrity and character, and that you do not compromise your values.) To do this, write it out your plan of action.

• BE the partner you want to have. Make a decision to grow into the person that you want to attract as a partner. If you have the integrity and character you are looking for in others, you will attract them much more readily. What a great way to honor your partnerships!

• View the partnerships rules, agreements and strategies as tools; and not substitutes for relationship. If you approach them as tools, they will not become more important than the people that you are working with. Your ability to relate to others is the most important skill in successful partnerships.

• Accept the responsibility of creating and nurturing a successful partnership rather than placing it on the written agreement. It is YOUR responsibility. The agreement is only as empowered, mature and strong as the people who put it together.

Once you are clear about what you want, and are living it in your own life, then begin to look for your partner. If you think you have found someone who might be a fit, sit down with them over coffee and talk over your wants and desires. If the person seems to be a suitable candidate, confirm it by requesting that they write out their own desires/goals. Once you have confirmed that someone is a partnership fit, determine if a lawyer is necessary to firm the agreement, (this step usually depends on the characteristics in a partner you are looking for. If you want someone who believes that a signed contract is they’re word of honor, a lawyer may not necessary. Use your discretion here.)

The keys to the long lasting and successful partnerships have been:

• Partners who are each personally clear about what they want, and who is to take responsibility for attaining it.

• Partners who practice what they value.

• Partners who remember that relationships are dynamic, that they change over time and are willing to renegotiate if there are changes.

• Partners who communicate with honesty and clarity.

• Partners who, in the event of a dispute, will refer to their partnership agreement and not go from memory. (BEING the partner you want BEFORE entering the partnerships does NOT guarantee that there will not be any disagreements. However, if the relationship is based on trust and authenticity, there is a much greater probability that the partners will be able to work things through quickly and effectively).

So yes, I believe that you can recognize a suitable partner just by becoming aware of what you are looking for. By BEING a person of character and integrity, I believe the community you help to create will be undeniably profound and positively impacting.

Unclarity - The Partnership Epidemic

Have you heard?

There is an epidemic moving through partnerships called "unclarity". Some of you have told me that you have also had experience with this "bug" and so I wanted to take a look at what action we can take together to stop it from being so common.

Because of the stress that unclarity can put on our lives and work, I think that the first question to ask when looking for a solution is what thoughts or beliefs do we allow to convince us that we do not have need of clarity? Why do we even allow parternships to form and exist, without the assurance that the expectations and accomodations of the relationship agreement are clear, if there is serious consequences to bear? Here are some of the arguments against becoming more clear in agreements that I have heard and, unfortunately, some of which I am also guilty of using:

• I don't have the time.
• I don't know how.
• I'm afraid that it won't be clear if I try.
• I don't need clarity. I know what is needed.
• We've known each other for years.
• We are good friends and understand one another.
• We're not that complex of an organization.
• We've done it this way for years.
• Anyone doing this should know what they are doing.
• We're all volunteers.
• We all have training in theatre (or put any industry in this blank) so we shouldn't need anything more.

This is like saying that because we all deal with money every day, we don't need any education about how to use it! Yikes. (What's sad is that our schools are reflecting this belief. What's wrong with this picture?)

Just as it is essential that we find ways to have financial management (something we deal with daily in our lives) taught in our schools, so we need to find ways to develop partnerships that are successful and nurturing for all involved. Otherwise, we will continue to regularly find ourselves with anger, disrespect, broken partnerships, incomplete projects and the like because we have not taken the time to learn how to prevent unclarity in life and our projects.

So, where do we find a solution? Is it through asking questions like "Why did this happen?" Or, "What happened that my partner did not feel supported, nurtured and clarified in our lives and work?" It is my experience that these questions, although when answered can contain useful insights at times, can easily bog a person down in the why and the how. Frankly, it does not matter why things happen or what happened. What is most important is that we realize that what was done did not work and admit that there is a need for some change.

So the only way to build healthy partnerships that are built on clarity is to ask and then answer this question: What steps can I take to build stronger and clearer partnerships in my life and work?

I'm glad you asked! Here is today's CALL TO ACTION.... (I recommend that you do at least the first 2. They will only take 5 minutes):

• Decide TODAY to BE supportive of yourself and those who are your partners. Write a note to yourself on a post it and put in in your work area so that you see it daily.
• Join the our community's blog chat to chat with and learn from others who have experienced the same disappointments in their partnerships by...

1. Signing up for the feed of this blog. At the bottom of the blog, you will see a subscribe link. Subscribe by clicking on that link.
2. Commenting on blog entries or on the comments in blog entries. (At the bottom of each blog is a Comment link. Click on that link to post your question or comment.)
3. Optional: Joining Blogarithm - If you are like me, you have numerous blogs that you watch and participate on. Blogarithm is a very helpful tool that brings your blogs together into one email notification system. It's so handy because it lets you know regularly when a new post has been made. (If you join Blogarithm, don't forget to make this blog one of your Blogarithm blog subscriptions. The address to subscribe to this blog is http://designingexpressions.blogspot.com/ 

• Keep asking questions and learning about how you can do better. If you have private comments or questions, please email me, Wanda, at wanda@reinholdtproductions.ca 
• Share with the RP Team what specifics in your partnerships have needed clarity. Do so by emailing tellmemore@reinholdtproductions.ca . Your answers will be kept confidential.

Together, we can build your legacy strong!

Keep well!

Wanda
www.reinholdtproductions.ca

Weasles and Hard ...

Have you ever had days when the things that happen are inexplainable and are simply outrageous? I had one of those days recently that still is fresh on my mind. It looked like this...

Saturdays is my day to do things around the house and for my family. My husband is usually doing something in our yard or in our home as well and we kind of help one another out with big chores.

Well, the day started with me making plans to do the laundry. I gathered it all up and got it sorted in the laundry room. Everything was going very well until I opened up the washer and noticed something in the bottom. It looked like clothes so I went to pick it up. And then I started to laugh. Here I had forgotten some underwear in the washer 2 weeks ago and lo and behold it had grown super duper hard in there. LOL Oh my goodness! Did it feel awful! I had a moment when I thought it might be halarious to try them on but the idea quickly passed as I thought of the rough hard material against my husband's skin or mine.

Once I had the laundry in (and yes, I did rewash the underwear), I began to do some cleaning - a little dusting, vacuuming, and cleaning the bathrooms. There was nothing unusual about what I was doing. I had done this many times before. But for some reason, I found myself picking up a bottle and dropping it or stubbing my toe or knee or...It just was wild how much time I spent picking up after myself!

I finally had to sit down and just chill for a while. I found myself just needing a break from my own self.

Sometimes we move so fast in our lives that our bodies and minds get tired and don't work as well as they usually do. I think that is why I forgot the clothes in the washer and why my balance was definitely not what it usually is . I always KNOW that it is time for me to take a break and do a little something nice for me when the things I touch and do are not coming easy.
I am excited about this next year because it is going to include encouraging people to take retreats. With this is going to come the beginning of us opening our home here for that very thing. So, if you are in need of a break, let me know and I can set you up with a room :).

I believe that our creativity is fueled by how much we are nurtured and rested. And we can only go so long before we find hard underwear in our washers!

So how do you rest and nurture yourself on a regular basis?

Oh, and by the way, when you are resting, it is a nice gesture, when the husband runs into a cat downstairs with a weasle in its grips, for him to not tell you in any way that there could be a sharp tooled creature in your home prowling around (until it is gone :) Thank heavens for rest support!

Keep resting and creating!

The Marriage Partnership

Marriage...It definitely works best when you approach it as a partnership! Let me explain.

My husband, John, and I have been married now for over 7 years. We are a unique couple in that we both are strong artists and have strong wills and ideas but we approach things very differently. In fact, we come from opposite sides of the river!

John is very much the kind of person that watches carefully and does not say much. He mulls over the idea he has for a long while and tests the waters many times before deciding anything. He is very careful and very sure before he goes ahead. He is a writer and a analyzer.

On the other hand, I am the kind of individual that likes to take action. I tend to do things all the time and to think only for a short while before doing. I like to make things happen and get things accomplished and see things change. I like to lead and to inspire and motivate. I am the director and the actor.

Since we got married, we have been learning how to be together and to work together as partners in life. We both hold the philosophy that a home works best when there is someone who makes the final call on decisions. Because a man is able to separate his feelings from fact easier than a woman, especially when the stakes are high, we believe that it is wiser to keep the man of the house as that final say.

When the man is naturely the leader and takes charge of things and likes to make decisions in his home and in his life, it is quite easy to put this philosophy into practice. However, when the man is more laid back and tends to take his time with decisions and think things through and act slowly (like in our house), for a woman of action, this can get very frustrating like it did on Thursday.

So we had a little talk about it...

In our talk, John brought up the metaphor of an actor and director in rehearsal. He said he feels like an actor and director have a relationship much the same as a marriage. An actor comes to the rehearsal knowing that the last call is the director's. However, he still comes with choices and ideas and puts them into play until the director says something. And a good director wants the actor to have ideas and to bring them to the table. He wants to collaborate and come up with the story together. In the same way, John told me that he wants me to share my ideas and put things into practice. He does not have to approve of everything. And he agreed that it is up to him to say something if he thinks a choice is not working in our home.

I thought it was a great metaphor. I honestly had not thought about marriage like this before. But my question still was how can a woman of such strong desires and ideas and will put her choices into practice without running her family and her husband over?

There seems to be a thin line between making choices and acting upon them and expecting that the choices be accepted all the time. For someone who has not been encouraged in her choices very much, I'm scared to get used to this freedom! LOL

Well, I am certainly grateful for a husband who wants to see me empowered and wants to know my thoughts on things. I am glad for that. And I am going to work on putting my ideas into practice without his opinion. And if I want to have his thoughts on something, I will work on asking him gently before acting. I know that John will tell me when it is not going to work for him and that is something to be thankful for indeed!

How's your marriage partnership?