The True Meaning of Being Free

I had a disappointment recently. I applied for a number of internship positions and did not hear back from any of them. This was hard for me. I began to wonder what this could mean and created many scenerios in my mind. Of course, I became quite emotionally attached to one or two of them, and formed opinions and conversations based on my experience.

One of the conversations was with a friend with whom I confide. After I shared with him my results, he said that although he did not know the exact meaning, that he thought that perhaps there could be 1 of 3 possibilities:
1. It could mean that I should not look any further into this.
2. It could mean that it would be good for me to continue to learn and grow as it is not quite time yet for an internship.
3. It could mean that if a persist and continue to apply that eventually I will get in.

I went into my coaching session the next day with the idea that there could not be any other explanation. I had concluded that I needed to decide and act upon one of the 3 possibilities, that is until my coach shared with me a remarkable idea and thought....

"What if it meant nothing?" she asked me.

I was taken aback. How could it not mean anything? After all, I was disappointed and frustrated by what had happened. That means something, doesn't it? The lack of response is a sign that I should quit, isn't it?

Her response was that it only meant something if I wanted it to.

At that point, I realized that it was meaning something because I believed it meant something. No one else was putting that same meaning on it.

(I have been learning the fine art of using fear to create a positive action plan rather than fighting it or avoiding it. And it has become an exercise that is changing the way I do business and live out my life and career. This was unexpectedly turning out to be an additional lesson in living above the fear!)

It's taken me a few days to grasp what she was saying. However, I have come to realize that she is right. The possibility of it not meaning anything is actually the most healthy and the best possibility. It can and does not mean anything unless I want it to. And to further this thought, if I decide it means something and settle on that meaning, I automatically choose to have that same kind of experience in the future. Like attracts like - the Law of Attraction.

Humans are the highest created entity on earth. As a human, you and I have the ability to think ideas and to create meaning. We make conscious and sub-conscious choices constantly. We are spiritual, intellectual, and physical at the same time. This is what makes us different from any other living thing on earth. We have considerable power at our fingertips.

What this means is that when we have an experience like I did with my applications, we have an opportunity to CHOOSE to think of it in a certain way. Our choices are broad - from "I hate them for denying me the courtesy!" to "It's ok if they don't want to respond. I will apply to others who do." and all the choices inbetween.

What's key for us to remember is that our choices impact our emotions and it is the emotional charge on the experience, as Bob Proctor indicates in his Born Rich series, that attracts to us either a similar or different experience in the future.

So, if I were to decide, although I thoroughly believe in my heart of hearts that I am to persue this kind of work because it is a passion of mine, that this experience meant that it was over for me, I would probably begin to feel really terrible and sad about the experience. Eventually, I might even become angry about it. This emotion would then continue to bring about the same results over and over until I made a change.

In other words, by making a CHOICE to feel nothing instead about the experience and to continue to submit applications in other places, I am choosing to not place meaning on the situation. It just is. It happened and that is all. Nothing more. What freedom!

But we want to place meaning on things, don't we? We sure do! I know I do and I know that most people in my life do. And why is that? Because we want to be secure and we want to have control. We define ourselves by the meaning we place on things in our life- from our family and environment to our work and the responses we get. If we claim to know what a situation means, we look as if we have things in hand.

But do we really have control? How many possible explanations could there be? Take my situation with my applications, for example. There could be tons of reasons why I have not heard back. What would be the benefit of taking the time and energy to spend time on some or all these reasons to decipher or conclude which one of them is true? A crazy making notion for sure, especially when comparing it to remaining confident and secure in who I am in the midst of all that is happening around me.

I think this is the true meaning of being free! When who I am and what I believe is firmly established and not effected by what happens around me, then I am truly free.

And I don't know about you, but this sounds like a much better life than worrying about the why's and the how's!

Stay tuned for more on this subject. I invite you to join me in living out this approach to life.


Keep partnering!

Wanda
www.kaizenworks.org